Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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