I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
