at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
