Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
