Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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