Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
