Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
