so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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