Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
