It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
ugly people sure do ruin things
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
