you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize