Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
foreskin is a definite game changer
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
