I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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