Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
