I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I believe in your delicious
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
