I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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