it was like his penis was on wheels.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I will pee on everything he values.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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