Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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