part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
