I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
