YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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