what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
