Sponge bath it is.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize