I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
