So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
