I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
