Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
