My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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