was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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