I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
