HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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