i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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