I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
