Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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