Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
