You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
