I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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