i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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