one two three fourrrrnication!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
