i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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