this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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