I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
