Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
