It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
