You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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