where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
