no, he came in my armpit
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize