even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
