Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
