This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize