i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
