if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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