dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
