It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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