I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
